I am amazed...

On the social anxiety forum chat, someone was asking if it was possible to recover, and naturally I pointed out that yes, it was, I did.

And of course, then the avalanche of questions "how? how? what did you do?" begins. And I have stopped answering these, because it is such a long story.

I intended to write an article on how i recovered, post it here, and link people to it.

But I am not sure I want to do this now.

When the people on social anxiety chat kept on pressing me for information, I told them that people tended to get annoyed when I told them how I recovered, that my methods were not "conventional". And still, they wanted to know, they assured me that THEY were different, THEY wouldn't get annoyed...and so I let slip a little bit of information...

...and suddenly I was being called a "bullshitter", a "troll", "rude", a "lame person" and a load of other things....much the same happens whenever I even begin to tell the story of how I recovered to anyone. So perhaps I should not write that article, it seems people really do not want to know, they just want to criticise. So be it, they have SA, I do not, I merely try to help those in need, but if they want to bite the hand that feeds, well, it saves me a lot of effort doesn't it.

I'm going out clubbing on tuesday, let the good times roll, bitches, PARRR-TAAAAAY! You people can keep your SA, and keep your moral highground - they make a good pair.

Alive

Wow, it's been a long time since I last wrote anything here. I normally only write when I'm depressed and have nothing to do, see, and my life has been rather better than that of late - for a change.



I have actually been going out, talking to people, making friends, y'know, doing the whole normal people thing as best I can. I still have trouble making friends, I don't have many, but hey, I'm pretty much over my anxiety - and I will write a post on how I recovered soon, as people keep asking me, and it's a long story.

The picture is from one of my nights out by the way, that was a 3-legged pub crawl for the international students (the girl in the glasses is from Norway, the other girl is from Germany) which I just blagged my way onto - good times, let them last eh.

Forgive Me Father, For I Have Sinned

You remember when I swore I would never have a profile on a social networking site? You don't? Oh. It was here.


Well now I have had to give in to the might of Mark Zuckerberg's evil Facebook enterprise, because of a collaborative project I am doing at Uni, where the rest of the group are communicating via facebook - so I needed to get an account too.

My profile is here.

Tbh, facebook seems a bit shit, actually, but whatevs. Feel free to add me randomly, my internet friends who know I have social anxiety disorder and am a depressed, weird, loser, can go and do battle with my real life "acquaintances", who know nothing. T'will be fun.

I intend to offset the evil of the money I have made for Zuckerberg by means of donations to the Socialist Party, The poppy appeal, and Unite Against Fascism.

Indubitably, Lord Cumberbatch

Today, I decided I would go to uni, and indeed around town, wearing a bowler hat, as follows:



Or for a slightly camp-looking shot:


This was all just to take the piss out of SA, you see. Oh, and, complete with my bowler hat, I went into a fancy-dress shop and bought a plastic pipe, to imbue myself with an aura of aristocratic epistemology in my sociology seminar. Though in the picture below I look more like a toothless-spaz, but whatever, have you ever tried photographing yourself while sucking a plastic pipe while being dyspraxic all at the same time!?


Oh, and if you're wondering about the ring, I bought that today, from a clothes shop, whilst wearing the aforementioned hat, it is symbolic of the power I currently hold over social anxiety disorder.

In other news, I found out it's gonna cost about £250 to repair my car. I hope they take Visa.

Last night I broke my land-speed record, reaching 90mph for the first time.

My First Car Crash

I'm afraid this post may come as something of an anti-climax, following on the heels of such a hyperbolic title. When I say "crash", I should really say "scrape" - but, much like the British tabloid press, I just can't resist a good bit of alliteration - it gets me slightly aroused.

Sorry.

Anyways, yeah, tonight I went out with my car and my mp3 player, flying around the deserted, pitch black roads at ridiculous speeds, wheel-spinning, hanging the gears to shit - to the point I was actually doing 50mph in 2nd gear at one point, the engine didn't like that - the whole reckless youth package. And that went absolutely fine, no crashes, no casualties, no paralysed children.

The problem came, as it so often does, when I thought I was home and dry. I was pulling into my pitch black driveway, when suddenly, out of nowhere, my pitch black cat jumps into the headlights, I swerve violently to avoid her, acting on pure instinct, and out of the darkness a horrible scraping and crunching sound rings out. It seems I scraped the car across the corner of our house at about 8mph. There are now a load of white-streaks across the black paintwork down the left side of the car - I will try to get some pictures tomorrow - its too dark now (10:30pm in ye olde England, don'cha know?).

And when I saw this...I collapsed in a paroxysm of hysterical laughter. Ahh, excitement and fun and happiness are such foreign and new sensations to me, oh but this was brilliant, I just crashed my fucking car! AHAHAHAHA! AHHHHHH, THIS IS LIVING!

I also got a haircut today.

Loner Goes Clubbing

I went out drinking again tonight...alone. It is strange, I can do so many things I could never do before because of SA, but I still can't make fecking friends, bleh.

Oh, and when I got back from my pub-crawl, I shot a short test-video of myself with the pocket video camera I wasted £87 of my student loan on...and I was still fairly drunk when I filmed it.

I am sure it is only the remnants of the alcohol that make me feel posting this slurred mess is a good idea, and that I will regret this in the morning, but whatever, here is the result:

One Point to GAD

*sigh*

I could not go through with my intended project, the anxiety induced by my attempt was too much. I think I have been too ambitious in hoping to make progress against GAD in so little time.